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Two years have dimmed the details of what came next and when. I only have snippets and pictures that overlap each-other like transparencies in a book, in no particular order. I remember that he was incredibly gentle, and that when I looked into his eyes, I was amazed to see in them that he loved me. He was as honest and open as I am, showing me the sores on his penis and assuring me that it would stay inside his underwear for now. I felt grateful that there was a binding reason not to have intercourse, because I have difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner, and always ultimately feel cheated when the man gets his and I don’t. But somehow, this man and this night seemed made to order for me and my needs, and indeed, he was at my service. He danced for me, the dance of a Raven. He made his body a gift to me, to do with as I pleased. He sucked my cunt, and caressed my breasts, and droned the song of the Bear in my ear, where it entered and reverberated through my being. I wanted him. He had lost his cherry to the girl in high school who took care of the audio-visual room,Yes, he was in that club too. It was two lonely scared kids groping each other trying to find out what it was all about.She and him were together for junior and senior year but she got accepted to a good collage out west and they kept in touch for a while but then even that stopped.He had dated a few girls in collage but it was always short lived.The one thing in his life that he was never good at was asking girls out,He got rejected so many times and in so many ways that if you were to count them all and store them you would need a computer that was capable of running the Space Shuttle--by itself.Some where nice when they said no-some were not.He could hear the smirks and the gossip they shared back and forth about him and it always hurt.It hurt more then anyone knew,His friends. family, co-workers could never even begin to understand how he felt.They knew nothing of the times he spent crying.
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