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It was torture. I wondered if she were taking care to make me realize how things would be if I did decide to stay. Our entire married life, nineteen years—lost.I noticed the clock. It was ten minutes to eight. She was standing beautiful and sensual in the hallway. She looked at me. She had a kind of sad sympathy etched on her features. "I hope you'll be here when I return," she said. There was a certain earnestness in her voice. I said nothing, did nothing, I just watched as she turned and walked out, got in her car, and drove off.Our conversation earlier on when she'd made her confession, if that's what it was; no, it was an ultimatum; had finally come home to roost in my befuddled brain. That had been at around two in the afternoon. I'd had time to think since then. And think I had.Divorce? Was it a foregone conclusion? Maybe, maybe not, I wanted a measure of revenge regardless. Nothing too wild-ass; I wasn't going to go to jail for shooting anybody, but I had a plan to at least. You always creamed so good, Jackie. I loved licking it from my hand or from your body."Mmm ... same to you. Try something for me, Penelope."Anything."Close your eyes. Now ... picture me. Concentrate on my face. What do you see?I did as directed and let my memories of Jackie rush into my mind. "I see..." I looked closely, trying to frame that image before describing it, "I see your hair down over your shoulders. It looks a lot like Kira's, only a bit longer."More."The freckle on the side of your nose, the one I loved to kiss, it's there, too."More."Your eyes are bright blue, shining. I always got lost in your eyes, Jackie."Keep going."I see the blush you sometimes wore on your cheeks, that luscious purplish-red lipstick that made your lips so hot. God, how many times you smeared that on my boobs..."More."You're flushed, like when I'm touching you. I see ... sweat on your forehead ... you look turned on."Open your eyes.I did and for a moment, I stared into Jackie's blue orbs. Her face.
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