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Sometimes I wish I didn't. And I'm holding back. He doesn't have all of me, and each time he leaves, when he returns, I give him less of me than he had before. He knows this. He knows I'm pulling away from him. I can see it in his eyes — the hurt, I mean. I'm hurting him, but I can't stop it. Hurting him is the last thing I want to do, but I must protect myself because..." The tears welling in her eyes overflowed and streaked her cheeks. "Because someday he won't come back. If that happens and I've given him all that I am, I won't survive the grief. I'm holding back to survive, and that feels so selfish of me." Surviving isn't being selfish, Grace," I said."Sure it is," Agnes said. "But there's nothing wrong with being selfish to survive. Make sure you protect yourself, sweetie."Grace brushed the tears from her cheeks and rose to her feet. "Let's dance in slow motion and search for our centers. I suspect tai chi is the best cure for what ails me this morning."Later during breakfast,. "The AI began, "This system is known as P371. The local name has not yet been discovered. The first area of interest is the planet P371-2. It is Class N.The planet's orbit and position were highlighted, allowing it to stand out from the rest of the system display. The process the AI used was simply to make it appear brighter as it dimmed the displays for the other planets in the system. The AI continued its narrative."It is basically a mining community. Sensors show a population of nearly twenty thousand Grays, and about one hundred fifty thousand other beings. The other beings appear to be a bird-like race. Planetary defenses consist of twelve orbital laser platforms, with an unknown number of planetary based fighter sized craft."Rainer spoke, "From what I have learned from Ambassador Lowsay, I would guess that they would probably be slaves. If not the entire population, then the dominate of the species has sold the rest into slavery to the Grays." Makes since to me," Jim said,.
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