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Later, alone in my room, I watched the moon for the longest time. Iheard an animal baying in the distance. It felt lonely way out hereunder the stars.I dressed for bed, a conservative nightgown. I wiped off my makeup.And like every night, I wept until sleep came.* * *The next morning, I was at work early. I hadn't been given a uniform byMiss Abby, and so I went to work in my old one.I went through my chores with care. First impressions, and all that.Luckily, I could dance with a vacuum cleaner.I thought about the early days, the thrilling days where I first wore adress while I flitted about, playing, acting more than being a domestic.It was a sexual release at the time, from the lipstick to the underwearto the sexy maid's uniforms. I was under instruction at the time, butthat was part of it, too. The submission. The surrender. The bending ofthe knee. I loved it all.Most transvestites don't become maids, of course. Those of us who dooften don't stick with it when the work gets hard.. Knew how much she was in love with him, thought she could bear it herself since he had seemed so remote. But with his words echoing in her head every day since, she’d left her job, left her husband, left her life. There was only him. And he was gone. And she wasn’t worthy of him. What could she have to offer him? Terror? She’d made a mess of her life in five minutes. It was all gone. All what was left was wanting him. She was trying to rid herself of that. He made her unlike herself, something she couldn’t bear. She was trying to shake him off, like malaria, fever and chills, cyclically feeling better and then much, much worse. He had turned to ice. And here they were, she had all the raw truths but couldn’t bear them. He was cauterized and wanting to taunt her. How much time had passed? Months. He’s infuriated by how strongly he feels about this woman under his fingertips and she’s terrified by how strongly she responds to this man. They both thought they’d healed, and they were.
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