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I knew I didn't stand a chance.I began humming to myself and then recognized the song,"Sometimes you're the windshield. Sometimes you're the bug ... Sometimes you're a fool in love."I found the house with no trouble. It was a big old place with a maple tree in the front yard. I bet there used to be a tire swing hanging from that tree in the old days. It looked like a great place to grow up. Charlie's Mom must have been looking out for me because she opened the front door and ushered me in, even before I could ring the doorbell.She wasn't fat, just spread out a bit after bearing and raising so many children. She looked like, well, she looked like a mother. "Call me Shirley," she said, "and, no, I don't even know a Laverne." But she didn't look like a Shirley. She looked like a Mom.She offered me a cup of coffee and a plate of brownies that didn't come from a bag, I swear. We made small talk for few minutes. Then Charlie's Mom sat back in her chair, looked me in my eyes and said, "So,. "As you command, Master," the genie responded, and clapped hishands. "Your first wish is granted. You are now the fairest, mostvoluptuous maiden in the world and you will remain so until the endof time." "Wow," breathed the transformed young man as she looked into a nearbymirror. "Amazing. Okay, for my second wish, I want to be unable toresist the commands of any man. Whenever a man tells me to do something,I want to be made so that I have to obey him, no matter what." While the first wish had seemed odd to the genie, this one was trulysurprising. He reached out with his powers to see if some other forcewas controlling the mortal, but there was none. "As you command, my....mistress," he said slowly, and again clapped his hands. "Your secondwish is granted. You are now a helpless slave to all men. Their willshall be your will, without question." The genie was shocked to see the mortal smile and look happy at thisnews. "Wonderful," she replied. "Finally, I wish to be made.
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