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“You know those doctors never know what they’re talking about.” I said indignantly.There was clearly anger in my voice. Anger that Nancy might actually be taken from me. Anger that there seemed to be nothing I could do about it. Anger mixed with my sadness as I sat there staring down at my plate.After a while Nancy got up from the table to clear the plates. I had barely eaten a thing.“You done with that?” Nancy asked as she reached for my plate.“Yeah, just not hungry.” I answered back mindlessly.I watched my wife as she cleared the table. She seemed to move so slowly these days, never really smiling. Her eyes seemed so blank, without a trace of joy. The cancer had taken a lot out of her. She bore little resemblance to the woman I fell in love with just over 25 years ago. In fact, I barely recognized her these days.I sat at the table silently for a few more minutes before getting up. I had to get ready for my night job. I had taken a night job as a security guard several. But I didn't want to. I was hoping virginal pussy was in my future, and I was doing everything in my power to make it happen.After Nicole's little peep show, I held back for a week or so. I was still updating my journal, I didn't want to lose the progress I had made. But I also knew Nicole had taken a big step, and was very close to her limit. Honestly, I'm still amazed 20 years later that I was able to get her that far as quickly as I did. But I needed to keep the pot simmering, to borrow a phrase. I knew that if I asked for another show, or if I tried to advance her along, I stood a good chance of her pulling back. I'm not sure when, but somehow I had developed an innate sense of how far I could push her.So I left well enough alone. In my journal entries I flattered the hell out of her. I figured she was probably regretting her boldness, and I needed to repaint her memory of the event with what I wanted her to remember. Say something enough times, and it will eventually become the.
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