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.Son of a bitch! I woke up and my ass felt like it was on fire! I swore, "Banzai what in the fuck did you do to me?"Banzai came over, touched my arm and said, "Jack, the piece of shrapnel in your ass hit an artery. I had to do surgery to close the bleeder."I vaguely remember the shrapnel and that I pulled it out of my ass but I was in a hell of a lot of pain so I continued the complaints, "Shit Banzai! Can't you give me something for pain?"Banzai leaned down and whispered, "Jack, the morphine combined with all the other drugs you'd taken did a number on you. Sorry about this, but for right now you're going to have to man up and tough it out."The Butterbar remarked, "I think that's our chopper..."I interrupted, " ... What fucking chopper is that..."Banzai interrupted me, " ... Jack, you're headed back to the base so the real surgeons can finish what I've started." Then he leans closer and whispers, "Just remember – don't let them know about your back."I asked, "Well, who the fuck is. When she took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured and she exclaimed, “Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake!”So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake.She found it in the bathroom - a roll of toilet Paper.She plunked it in and then covered it with icing.Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect.And, before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold.Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her mom.Alice was horrified-she was beside herself! Everyone would know!What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed!All night, Alice lay awake.
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