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Alone… in bed… alone. The gray hint of dawn was trickling through the curtains to dance on Madeline’s eyelids when she realized that her nose itched. Her first attempt to scratch it was stopped by… by the long sleeves of her brother’s sweatshirt that she had kept down over her fingers to keep her hands warm. Maddie opened her eyes before her brain was functioning very well. She was still in her little virgin bed, not the royal bed chamber, and covered in layer upon layer of warm quilts and coarse cotton sheets. Her mind slowly found the rest of her body and ordered it to move. That was when she became aware of the soaking between her thighs. She sat up and pushed the covers down to see the puddle in her lap. First she thought she had wet herself, but there was no scent of urine. Her fingers confirmed: Her vagina, not her bladder, had produced the puddle. The last night’s cruel jokes about her scent on little brother’s shirt echoed in her dulled brain before being replaced by the. Please welcome - Miss Daisy Duquesne."I took the mic from Lee, stepped out into the spotlight and smiled forthe audience. I did a little mock curtsey, as low as my padded figurewould allow. I heard some gasps of surprise and a few uncertainlaughs. A woman at Open Mic night was rare enough, but a pregnantwoman, and one dressed like a suburban housewife? With her handbagover her arm, as if she were on the way to the hairdressers?I wasn't a raconteur. In all my performances as Nick, Sarah or Daisy,all I had done was roll out one-liners. I didn't - usually - doobservational humour. But there wasn't much point in pretending to bea six-months-pregnant woman if I didn't talk about that..."Thanks for having me back. My performance last time was described bycritics as 'electric' and by electricians as 'critical'. As you canprobably tell I'm quite a bit further up the spout than I was before.It's on my mind quite a lot these days, so if you're a man, you mightwant to look away.
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