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” I couldn’t stop myself from smiling in return even though my stomach churned. “I started having feelings for you years ago,” I said, “back when I was nearly seventeen. You were older than me and I was too shy to tell you. I assumed you wouldn’t see me in the same way so I just kept it to myself and hoped it would go away. I guess a part of me still wished you’d notice me as well, even though I probably wouldn’t have known what to do if you did.” “And?” “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s kind of pathetic because I saw you with your previous girlfriends and noticed how affectionate you were with them. The fact that you never really touched me should have told me all I needed to know about how you saw me…” I let out a breath and forced myself to keep looking at him. “But despite all of that, I still want you… and I can’t stop.” We stared at each other, the connection between us so strong that every sound in the room faded until all I could hear was the rush of blood in my ears. His. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa Claus' speech.If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."This one is compliments of HalGynecologist Assistant wantedA retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Sidney, Ohio, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair so they're ready for the Gynecologist's examination.The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings, Montana." Good grief ... Is that where the job is?" No sir, that's where the end of the line is right now."These are compliments of Whiterabbit... Rules of the Household1. The female always makes the rules.a..
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