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To him, that is enough. To me, that is the world.I cried the very first time he told me he loved me. Perhaps I was feeling unloved that day but I don't think so.We were in the park playing on the swings. His smile was golden and his laughter was sweeter than the sweetest melody. I was pushing him on the swings and he kept chanting "higher, higher."I was feigning big pushes — more pressure on his back but toning down the actual arm velocity — because I thought he was going plenty high enough. But he loved it. He was relating a story about rocket ships, dragons, dinosaurs and haunted houses.I was doing my best to follow along and prompting him to add more to the story. I wanted to freeze that perfect day — my son's smiling face, laughter and imagination — in my mind forever.As I put him on my shoulders to for our trip home, he said it.I tell Mark I love him often. I want him to know it and I don't care who else knows it. I tell him I love him when he's being a pain at the grocery store.. She did things exactly the same way from time immemorial. If I saw mom doing the laundry, I didn’t need to look at my watch. I KNEW it was nine o’clock on a Monday.I was different. I might have enjoyed the boring regularity as a child. But as I grew older, I began to sense the inherent futility of small-town life and the thought of drifting into meaninglessness horrified me.If you want to see what I’m talking about, walk through your town cemetery. Do you know any of those people? Probably not - still, they were once living, breathing human beings who thought they mattered. Newsflash - very few people really matter. Especially in a small town.Maybe I read too much. Maybe I was smarter than some. Maybe it’s because I never really felt like I fit in. But I had a world view that involved more than just getting married, raising kids, and being buried with a bunch of nonentities. I wanted a meaningful life.I actually envied the guys who only wanted to get laid. They had no goals, no.
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