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I was sure he was going to catch me sitting there, spying on him. Anyways he came in and threw his bag on the bed, then turned the radio on, and removed his shoes. He was so sweaty, it was almost unreal, then he reached into his bag and threw his uniform on the floor, it landed near the closet door and the smell that came from it was fascinating. This mix of sweat, Old Spice body wash, and testosterone [if that’s even a smell] it drove me crazy, I wanted to reach outside and pull the jersey in with me. Obviously I didn’t, and then he pulled his shirt off, revealing a tanned torso, with just the faintest trace of a six pack. His arms though, now that’s a different story; they are well defined and even the slightest movement made them swell to like twice their size. I think I was staring at him with my mouth wide open by this time. I was in a trance when his pants hit the floor – his muscular legs show the amount of time and work he puts into his physic, but what really caught my. You can’t do real pushups on a mattress, the exercise kind, anyway. My kind, I could.BIRTHDAY PARTIESThe big event of the Bicentennial was my turning 30. I’d always thought that was so old, but now I had to change the threshold. We had a Howdy party, everyone a character. Samuel was Howdy. He said I had to be Heidi, but I said it was my party and I got to be the Princess -- I’d be Heidi afterwards -- and wore an Indian costume that revealed when I served the grape punch. Indian Princesses never wear White-man’s goods.Ralph Brownel, my principal, was Buffalo Bob because he had a cowboy shirt. He had me refill his punch cup a bunch.Marian, who teaches math, was Clarabell. As she’s the chattiest one at school, she honked her horn lots.My friend Ruth Anne was Mr. Bluster. She brought her brother Ralph -- a big Howdy fan -- who wore a hat that said “Cameraman.” She tried to freeze my Howdy with an ice cube so she could fleece his front pocket for a magic key. Ruth Anne gave me a Howdy.
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