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It was his special gift – he had a delicious, twisted imagination and he relished the element of surprise and the power that came with that. At times, she had struggled with this. By nature, she was a planner and was most comfortable when she knew what lay ahead. Yet, when she was with him she had learned how to embrace the unknown - he had taught her not to be afraid of it. She played over in her head the things they had done before...the places he had taken her – places she never knew would exist for her in real life, although she had fantasized about them for a very long time. Yet, somehow, this would be different – she knew that. As her mind drifted, she lay down on her bed and her hand wandered to the growing wetness between her legs. As she touched herself a flood of emotions enveloped her. She couldn’t help thinking that this was going to be the beginning of something much larger. Part IIHe had told her he would arrive around 3:00 o'clock. She had not seen him for. She remembered her fumbling, jerky, a-rhythmic attempts at giving hand-jobs and the frustrated, angry looks on the faces of her boyfriends as they pushed her sweaty hand away and took over in order to finish themselves off. No, probably not she thought morosely, she couldn’t think of a reason for anyone outside of her immediate family to think about her anymore, and she wasn’t entirely sure that even they did. People come and go from your life of course, and what they think of you should be relatively unimportant in the larger scheme of things. That’s what we’re told anyway. Who you are…who YOU believe yourself to be…that’s what sticks with you. That is, for all intents and purposes, ‘you’. Just the fact that she was now a ‘farmers wife’, whether anyone else saw her that way or not, had gone a long way towards eroding Katie’s self image. The very label created a box that was cramped and restrictive, and she felt an incipient claustrophobia as she thought about herself slowly,.
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