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When what to my wondering eyes should appear,But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.Sure as I’m speaking, he was as high as a kite.And he yelled to his team, but it didn’t sound right.Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,Either slow down this rig or I’ll cut off your nuts.Look out for the lamp post, and don’t hit the tree,Quit shaking the sleigh, ‘cause I gotta go pee.They cleared the old lamp post; the tree got a rub,Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.“That was some brothel” he said with a smile”The reindeer are pooped, and I’ll just stay here awhile.He walked to the kitchen; himself poured. "Even little Mayuka has her claws!" She attempted sounding sarcastic, Kiyone made it always look so easy! Having completed a full circlet, Mihoshi leaned close."This makes you a liability!" She added firmly then straitened. "We are therefor here today to correct this!" Hope I'm doing this right?" Having made her point, Mihoshi privately considered "It always works in the movies!" May I please say something?" Sasami asked."When you address a superior!" Mihoshi told her sternly. "You always begin and end a sentence with SIR!" Sasami almost rolled her eyes."Yeppers! Mihoshi's really lost it this time!" she observed quietly."Sir, May I ask you a question? Sir!" Sasami then compliantly asked."NO!" Mihoshi barked. Then paused looking embarrassed. "I mean yes!" Sir! Which is it? Sir!" Sasami smirked."Watch your tone with me cadet!" Miho warned. "Any further insubordination and I'll assign you some K P duty!" Miho." Sasami sighed. "I already do all the cooking." At which point, 'training.
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