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I fight back, desperate to retain power as the thirst threatens to devour me from the inside. Although I know the result will be electrifying, it's the last thing I want when I'm this close to coming. Losing grip every second signifies failure on some level, my conscience tumbling away despite the mental gymnastics as She emerges. I want this to celebrate love, not cloaked lust. The blurred distinction between the two may be semantics, but to my inner bitch it's all about torrid execution. As I wither and She blossoms, the fractured mirror between my worlds affords glimpses of my body being besieged like a virus through a hapless host. Nipple tweaks turn to pinches. My 36Cs begin to feel like E cups ready to burst and I thrash my head from side to side against the plasterboard, moaning, utterly possessed. The top few buttons yield as I dig inside my bra and free my tits, kneading and rubbing the flesh to further throaty outbursts. My feet lock together, thighs squeeze around him, and. I want communication and I want my sexuality to be expanded for his and my benefit. I want to rely on him and I don't want to feel guilty about it. Not because I am 'easily led', but because I want a genuine partnership.I want to find the safety and the structure within which I can be free. Free to be me. Free to become whoever I wish to be in the future. I don't know what I'm capable of doing or being. But I know I belong. From what I've read, from what I've experienced, and from how it makes me feel, I know that submission is what I want.So to me, submission is an expression of my freedom. It gives me the opportunity to openly communicate my needs in a safe and structured environment. It means knowing and trusting someone so much. And it means pleasing someone who can fulfil my needs. But most of all, it means choosing. Choosing who I want to be, choosing how I submit, and choosing into whose knowledgeable hands that I will deliver myself.Elaine sat back in her chair and sighed..
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