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"What's with you anyway? Why do you keep acting this way with him? If you don't want to see him, just don't see him. Don't torment the guy."What do I tell her? Am I acting this way? If so, why?"I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I'll have to try to figure this out." Good luck."Would it be good luck to be able to get him to give me another try or to just decide to call the whole thing off? Damned if I knew.What was happening to me? How could I be in such turmoil over this, nobody? I really needed to talk to someone who could help me look at this objectively.The problem was, I couldn't talk this over with my best friend; I didn't have one.I had friends, but a show of weakness might have encouraged them to try to usurp my position of pre-eminence.Shit! What kind of life was I leading that I didn't have a best friend? Nerds have them. Even pathetic losers have pathetic-loser best friends. I had no one.It was almost unthinkable, but I knew that I would talk to him again, ask him to. --- The mall, a place I rarely went as I was more of a stay at home person. I wasn't social and I liked being by myself with my little dog or at the farm training with my horse. The first to see me was Brad. He was a short black kid at 4'11 when I went to school with him. Now he was nearly 6 foot and all muscle with the perfect build! "Ann! Wow, it's been forever!!" He hugged me tight and I thought he would crush me. Kelly, Claire, and Julie all greeted me with giggles and laughs as if we had been the best of friends when I was at that damn school. The other guys just kind of waved and gave George this look like "Why did you bring her?" I sighed heavily as the girls in front of me were all in booty shorts and t shirts that covered nothing and showed all cleavage. As for me, I was in a pair of black jeans and a purple short sleeve top. I had on a heart pendent that was about the size of 5 quarters and my hair was down and curly. I had my favorite chucks on. I felt like a nun.
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