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I had been waking up early morning and being sick. My mates laughed and joked around about it saying ‘I was pregnant’. I just told them not to be so stupid and later that day I went out and got a pregnancy test, took it and it turned out I was pregnant after all. I didn’t dare tell Daniel or anyone for well over a week. I was scare of what Daniel would say and if he would leave me, but during that week me and Daniel did talk about having kids one day when the time was right. Later that week Daniel came round and bought some beers up for us but I didn’t drink any with being pregnant. Daniel asked if I was ok as I had been really quiet for well over a week. I smiled at him and said “yes I am fine, well, no I am not fine to be honest” he came and cuddled up to me and said “what’s on your mind? Have I done something wrong?” I told him he hadn’t done anything wrong and he kept on asking me what was up with me and eventually I told him I was pregnant. He looked at me, he was just as. ”Auden was still nodding, a knowing nod, as if what I was sharing wasn’t ... wasn’t shameful, wasn’t something that needed to be hidden, wasn’t something that clung to you, like filth from a cesspool, that somehow contaminated you forever. Why was he looking that way?“Yes,” he answered, quietly.He was affirming what I was saying but his look was, ‘so what’. I’d spell it out clearly for him, even if I had to rip the words from the depths of my shattered and nearly lifeless soul.“You are older than Duane. Do you not know what I’m talking about?” The voice I heard saying that had an anguished tone that I’d not heard since that night with Markus.The faintest hint of a smile crossed Auden’s face, then quickly disappeared.A part of me wanted to slap him but ... He reached out and took my hand. Twelve years ago, standing by the road between our houses, with a flower I had crushed laying on that road, Auden had taken my hand. Taken it to comfort me. Was it happening again?“Serena, listen.
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