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Yuvraj was thrilled. I was truly surprised when the four of us sat in our tiny living room after supper and cake. Manohar and Nikith sat on the loveseat holding hands and I sat in my easy chair. Yuvraj came over to me and sat on the big tufted arm of my chair. Not thinking I went to rest my left arm on the chair but I bumped the side of Yuvraj’s thigh. He grabbed my hand and interlocked fingers with me keeping our hands on top of his thigh. He squeezed it a couple of times. Manohar doesn’t drink alcohol, so I didn’t offer any, nor did I open anything for myself.“We had a great time didn’t we Nikith?” Manohar said tossing on his jacket when they were leaving. “I had a good time, happy birthday again Yuvraj, soon you’ll be as old as me,” he stated chuckling. Yuvraj thanked them for attending and the cake and shirts. Nikith gave him a hug and Manohar shook my son’s hand.I thanked Nikith and he asked if he could give me a hug also. I allowed him to hug me. “He’s a hugger,” Manohar said. But there’s no reason why I shouldn’t benefit from her voluntary servitude. In fact, for the next year, I might as well treat her just as poorly as Jim has been trying to tell me I should all along.Looking down at her now as she knelt between my knees, dreading the task before her, I decided that if I can’t have her love then why not use her sexy body for as long as she’s willing to keep up this charade of a marriage. I promised Jim I wouldn’t leave or kick her out for a year. If she leaves on her own, well, there’s nothing I can do about that.But as I looked down at her I realized it’s easy to tell myself I’m going to treat her like that, use her and take advantage of her. The fact remains that for a long time, five years of my relatively short life, I have adored this woman with every fiber of my being. The sudden realization she never really loved me has been like a kick in the balls. For just a moment I found myself struggling to keep from crying like a baby! Yet I feel that.
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