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She found Jack lying in his bed weeping inconsolably. "Are you all right? Are you ill?" I'm dying," Jack moaned. "I've discovered tumors. I'm sure they're cancerous." The unfortunate young man wept even harder and exposed his chest to the startled landlady."They look like breasts," Helen said finally after having a close look at the "tumors." Don't be ridiculous," Jack huffed. "I'm a man. Men don't have breasts. They're tumors." His outrage had at least stopped his crying. But Jack was wrong. They were indeed breasts. And what a pair of hooters they were! Any woman alive would have been proud to have possessed this perfect pair of tit flesh. But since Jack was a man and a not so proud possessor of these lovely jugs, they looked totally out of place."They're breasts," Helen maintained. "I don't know how but that's what they are." But what should I do?" Jack looked like he was about to cry again."I'd go shopping for a bra if I were you," said Helen."I can't go bra shopping. I can just. . what you said before, about keeping my secret ... Thanks."A little while after I got off of the phone, there was a knock on my office door. I opened it and Connie came in with her best friend, Jessica."Where's lunch?" I asked."Oh that," said Connie. "I got too busy talking to Jess. Why didn't you tell me about the party tonight at the Dalton Hotel?" Because I'm not going to do that one," I said. "I had two parties on the schedule for tonight. I decided to shoot the one at the Book Cadillac. That one is going to have a couple of really important politicians there. History could be made there tonight and..." You mean one of those fat cats might actually tell the truth?" she snapped. "That would be historical, but not likely. They all lie, Rob. You should switch and do the other party. Jason Hamsker is going to be there. You know how much I love him. I'd love to have pictures of him. Remember what I told you when we got married?" Sorry Honey, but I've already assigned Ed to shoot that.
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