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All I saw was an old tired minivan with two flat tires..."Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants."A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:'So I hear you're getting married?''Yep!''Do I know her?''Nope!''This woman, is she good looking?''Not really.''Is she a good cook?''Naw, she can't cook too well.''Does she have lots of money?''Nope! Poor as a church mouse.''Well, then, is she good in bed?''I don't know.''Why in the world do you want to marry her then?''Because she can still drive and she has a car!'Three old guys are out walking...First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'*Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'*Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a. ." Dad said the same thing." Is something wrong? Are you all right?"Brandon played around with the phone cord. "I'm just bored, that'sall." I'll rent a movie for you on the way home."Brandon's face immediately brightened. "I wanna see HOBO WITH ASHOTGUN!" No, Brandon. We've gone over this, several times. You're too young towatch films like that." So when will I be old enough?" Brandon said impatiently."When you're eighteen." That's YEARS from now!" Brandon, I've told you never to shout on the phone..."Brandon hated it when Mom lectured him like this. "Fine," hedeliberately shouted into the phone. "Just rent MY LITTLE PONY orsomething. I don't care."He heard Mom make a pained sigh. "Brandon, if you had any idea what Ihave to go through as your mother..."Brandon slammed the phone on its cradle, then went to his bedroom tosulk.------------------------------------------------------------------------------It wasn't long before Brandon heard his father moving about in thehallway. Stepping.
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