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''Oh yes!''But there have to be some conditions, Eric.''Anything. Anything at all.''OK. Now you fancy sex with me, and I fancy sex with you?' No I fucking don't '?but that's all it's going to be. No long term relationship ? just a one night stand. OK?''But why?''Because you're the type to lose your heart to the first girl to come along, and you mustn't lose your heart over me. Now, have you got any condoms?' Please let him say no!'Yes. Well, I think so. That's to say I think I can find one.'He went dashing upstairs and I followed him more sedately into the rear bedroom. I thought my bedroom was a mess ? you should have seen his! Junk piled everywhere, threadbare carpet and curtains, and a narrow single bed ? all of it looking incredibly grubby. He was on his knees, rummaging at the back of a drawer. Then he triumphantly pulled out a foil containing a single condom.'There, I knew I'd still have it. I bought it when Valerie came round to tea, and I never?''Do you have a double bed in. But five years after the mists had changed that. Massive trees and vines grew across the ground; into houses and into chimneys. You can hear the chitter of carnivorous monkeys above, but you can’t be fucked with them right now. The cat is after you again.You skid left toward a house; ignoring the front door blocked by a thick root and instead slam against the tall fence door.Bang. Nothing. Locked. Shit.You scramble to your hip for your handgun and nearly lose your grip, but ha, its still in your hand. You aim at the handle and fire, once, twice, sending a fresh wave of excited cheers through the monkeys above.You slam your shoulder into the broken door and barrel through just as the creature leaps at you.You curse and scramble back on your ass, watching it flail and roar and reach for you, hunger in its dark eyes - but it's stuck. It's too wide, and its body is jammed between the house and the thick fence on its left.It nicks your forearm with the tip of its claw and you curse at it,.
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