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I thought: “Damn! maybe she wants to leave her boyfriend and get it on with me…” Oh, yes, I forgot to tell you that she had a boyfriend, crazy about her but always away from home, sailing around the world, leaving her, preety little thing, all alone…with other men to take care of her needs (and she had some needs!..) Don`t want to seem again sissy and girly to you all, but the thought of having a girlfriend like her didn`t really please me. I was giving her attention now, but not that much attention. Plus, I was still inlove, still thinking only about HER…bla, bla, bla. You know how that is. And most of all, anyone of you who are reading this, straight guys, lesbians or bi, wouldn`t want in a million years a girlfriend, fiancee or wife like her. Don`t want to get in more details about that, you`ll just have to trust me.I was relieved when I realised that she had other plans with me. At a time she increased her stake and started to rub my foot under the table, no matter where we were. So you can’t beat yourself up that over the last months you have carried on growing closer and closer to Chris. How could that be your fault, given what I’d told you before?I saw color start to return to Jill’s cheeks as she took in my words. Not just hearing them, but also thinking about them and knowing that all that I was saying was true. I wasn’t just soft soaping her, I was telling her the facts as I saw them.But I knew that these had been the easier bits. The bits that were easier for me to admit and for Jill to hear, as they made her feel better about herself. But what came next was the nub of the issue and the parts that we’d both find more difficult to face up and discuss.Holding Jill’s hand tighter still, I kissed her again and looked deep into those damp hazel eyes. “Jill, honey. I need to hear you tell me now, right here and now, how you feel about Chris. I need you to tell me the things I heard you tell him earlier, and any other things that you want to get out on the.
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