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Trust me, darling, you will be the sexiest 60 year oldwoman in Paris." Oh, I trust you, Silvia. I am in your hands. Make me as beautiful as youcan."I sat back and let her work. I will not bore you with the whole process.I will say that the first time I was placed under the dryer I have neverfelt more like a woman. Silvia gave me a Elle magazine to read. Here Iwas sitting between two other women, under a sinister dryer, reading adsfor lipstick and diamond earrings, with silver foil highlight sheets allover my head. A week ago I was sitting in the Jiffy Lube reading an oldHunting Life while I waited for my car to be lubed. Now I was getting thelube job.At last Silvia let me out of the dryer. I was thoroughly baked. The foilscame out and she combed my silver hair to relieve all the tangles. I toldmyself I would not look into the mirror until Wendy was finished. I didsee Claudette smiling at me while her head was being rolled."Now, Wendy love, let's give you a nice set then back under. ”“Oh, I can’t drink beer,” I said. She looked at me. I’d had no alcohol since the night I got knocked up.“I forgot. When I was a student, we could drink 3.2 beer at 19. I was thinking of picking up the pizza and a six-pack and going to my place. You can crash there so you don’t appear in public. I’ll limit you.”“I ... uh ... actually don’t drink. I’d love pizza and a Coke, though.” Fuck! Coke was probably just as bad for the baby as alcohol. But I hadn’t had a soft drink in three months. I couldn’t afford it.“Okay. I’m not a pusher. I know half the students in orientation will be soused by midnight. Things get a little crazy the first week of school,” Lily said. She looked at me a little strangely and then sent me on ahead to my first session.I attended every session religiously. I didn’t want to get tripped up by some rule or activity I didn’t know about. Over half the sessions were irrelevant. Things like the importance of paying your student loans, how to get a parking permit,.
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