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”“Some grass ... Where did you learn that? I mean, I know the move, but you move so fast.”I continue the conversation as I grab a broom, to clean the splinters off the mat. “Let’s get rid of the armour and put the iaito scabbard in your belt. I want to see how you swing a sword. Then we will talk about it. Somehow I think you swing a sword like a dumb white man.”“I am a white man.”“That is half your problem.”“Aren’t you a dumb white man?”“Half white, not trained to be dumb., No offence, but I’m sure I already know what you are doing wrong.”Once the mat is cleaned off, I get him to stand at the ready in a high guard position as he was when we started our quick match. Only this time, he has a metal practice sword instead of bamboo.“Slash straight down.”He does, and you can barely hear the wwwumm sound the sword makes as it cuts the air.I comment, “I can tell you did a lot of practicing, but you did a lot of practicing on how to do it the wrong way.”“What is that supposed to mean?”“When. “I know they’re great aren’t they!” I laughed cheekily.Mom put the bra and panties into her shopping basket and, with a cheeky smile spun round to the checkout. “Well I think I’m all done. Come on Mr fashion advisor, something for you now”.We looked round and I said “Mom I haven’t a clue what to buy”.“Well I would think you would look great in this shirt and tie and these trousers - go and try them on” mom said as she ushered me into the changing rooms.I came out of the changing cubical and did a twirl for Mom “Oh yes that looks fantastic! What woman could resist that?”We got home and Mom got in the shower first and after an hour we were both ready to go on our respective dates. I got in my taxi and said bye to mom. When I arrived at the hotel restaurant a waiter showed me to my table that I had booked which was out the way and secluded in a little alcove out of the way. I waited a while and ordered a drink to try and calm my nerves.About 15 minutes in walked …..my MOM! “What are you.
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