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I didnt do it again at all for at least a week. I wanted to stop it all together and be a good person again. One who didnt touch himself. One who didnt take all these risks to get caught. But as things go I couldnt hold out forever and I started again. Only this time I stopped taking such big risks. I only did it now at home by myself living with the shame and guilt quietly. Still having no one to talk to it affected my whole life thinking that there was something wrong with me. It wasnt long after that, that I turned 14 that was the year of creativity. I call it that because as I said I had stopped taking risks but I moved into another phase. That time period was the object phase. I searched my house for anything round and about the right size that I could stick it in and still feel good. I dont exaggerate when I say I tried everything round. This is the time period when some boys will go so far as to use the vacuum cleaner. I heard tails of that when I got older I was just never. I desperately hoped he was right."Somebody get this guy out of my way!" The medic shouted."I'm his next of kin." I lied. "Status." He's been shot and he's losing blood." The man snapped. "I can't find the damn exit wound!" There isn't one. Hollow points." How I knew, he didn't ask and I could not have told him.The medic stopped. "Fuck me." He sighed deeply. "I've got some morphine in the kit but that's about all I can do. We can put him on the first ambulance..." He stopped speaking as we both heard the helicopter arriving.I started hearing chatter and realized that I was still wearing the headset. I couldn't manage to focus on what was being said although my team was frantic about an unknown person suddenly appearing."By Ra!" Pharaoh knelt down next to me. "Dragon!"How Pharaoh got there - how he even knew how to find me - was lost on me.He had called Joey 'Dragon' a thousand times in my dreams."You've been having an affair with him?" I asked, not really caring at the moment. Still.
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