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I took a bird back to mine for sex last night. After some complaints for the first five minutes like,”Stop, you’re too big!” And,”Please No, you’re really hurting me now!” The fat cow eventually rolled off me and let me go on top.As I staggered into the living room and sat down on the sofa, my wife looked at me and said, “Can you not just go out and have a couple of fucking drinks?”“Of course I can,” I replied, standing back up. “Just let me get my coat.When my precious little dog fell in the river Mersey, a German tourist jumped in the freezing water and saved him.Upon getting back on the pier, he checked my puppy out and said, “Ze dog is ok, he vill be fine.”Out of curiosity I asked, “Are you a vet?”He replied, “Vet? I’m fuken soaked!I have realised I still have so many unanswered questions! I never found out who let the dogs out ... the way to get to Sesame Street ... why Dora doesn’t just use Google Maps ... why we don’t ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery” ... why women. There was a soft bounce of her breasts in her black bra. Luke looked away as she got closer. She was a big woman and seemed an aggressive one at that. She took him by his arm and lead him into a crowd. “Hey, everybody. This is Meg’s boy.” For the next hour or so, Luke met and interacted with all his mom’s colleagues and few of Tyler’s friends. He remembered the faces, but lost their names. Sarah hung around Luke a lot. She encouraged him to mingle. It was now dark, and the party moved indoors. The house had open access to all guests. The guests began to group together based on their previous associations. Meg and Omar were nowhere in sight. Sarah played the hostess and often had Luke as her arm candy.At one time in the evening, she whispered, “Luke, is there anyone you fancy in the party? I can get you together.” Luke joked, "You?” She gave him a smile, felt her squeeze his biceps gently, “I am sure there is someone in here you want to go home with.” He turned to her.
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