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I bought her another two and drank some iced tea myself. She started spilling her guts. She was so vulnerable. Patti was telling me how her husband hadn't even tried to fuck her in over seven months. She felt so alone. He had no interest, he had a small pecker and she had to take it in the ass to feel anything anyway. She said how she just wanted to have a real orgasm, just one. She was so desperate. I knew there was a firey slut side to her just waiting to be unleashed, I just didn't realize how much of a slut she wanted to be. She wanted to be used. She needed to be used. She was babbling and going n about it until she looked up and realized she was telling me all of this. She paused, and said "Will you take me home please?" Check Please!We turned out of the parking lot, drove about three hundred feet and turned on to the local baseball field. Patti was already taking her top off and trying to unzip my jeans. We got out of the car, and stumbled onto the field as be undressed each. A gift from her mother. She accepted solemnly.She’ll be fine, our Pilar.Irony is woven in to the fabric of our lives, isn’t it? Maybe not for those who lead essentially shallow lives, unexamined lives. But most of us experience incongruities, wry coincidences, odd paradoxes, as we stumble along.I’m in counseling. Seeing Dr. Lindsey Conners three mornings a week. I resisted it for the usual dumb reasons. I’m tough. I’m fine. Don’t need any help.But that Oasis investigation. One of my Irregulars, Birdy Cummings, had her head blown off by a pointblank shotgun.Horrific as that was, my family -- Walker, Vanessa, Pilar -- were targeted to be killed by Greta Gunther. Me too, but by that time I wouldn’t have much cared. Or maybe some deep rage would have had me fighting to the bitter end.In any case, I found myself exploding awake, heartbeat in Emergency Room ranges, gasping for air. Breathless. Other nights, after Vanessa was fully in the clasp of Morpheus, I just lay there, crying silently.
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