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Well my hopes went out the door when Mom came down the stairs later that day. Marty and I were in jeans and t-shirts and had been listening to Stones CD's all day to get in the mood but that dissappeared with the appearence of Mom in beige slacks, brown leather moccasins, crisp white blouse buttoned to her neck with a little butterfly collar. Her hair was pulled back in a bun and her face was clear of make up. She looked like a "mom". Dad instantly approved, all she was missing was a string of pearls and a clutch purse.We silently got in the car and Mom carefully drove away from home waving to Dad one last time. Mom drove at the prescribed speed, no loud music or talking as we entered the highway traffic for our "big night out". I felt flat, my expectations of Mom's wild side emerging and this being a great night were gone. We had been driving for about 30 minutes when an SUV pulled along side as we left the city behind and cruised into open farmland. Seeing a single female and a. .. um ... have to go home and use the bathroom.”“Why can’t you use ours?”“Well ... I have this condition ... it requires me to take special salts when I go to the bathroom.”“Special salts? Can’t you take them here?”“I guess I could ... it’s just that...”“No arguments. Mi casa su casa.”“Really? Wow, I love this bar.”The new guy heads for the bar’s men’s room and after a few minutes he returns to his barstool, but before resuming the conversation he makes an announcement.“Thank you for welcoming me to this fine establishment I’ve not felt this welcome in a long time. Bartender, I would like to but a round for the house.”“You got it. Hey everybody. The new guy has bought a round for the house.”As the locals were dinking and chatting, the neighborhood drunk came staggering into the bar and wanders off to the men’s room. A few seconds later there is an ear-shattering scream and the drunk comes running out of the men’s room, runs to the bar, reaches over and grabs the bartender by the front.
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