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There is one scar on my arm that’s still visible only if you look for it. I stopped before I got to that point after the phone call I got asking me how to stop a bad cut bleeding. I think that was what terrified me into quitting. There was no way I wanted it to get that bad that I had to put someone else in that position. Unfortunately I did slip up and cut a handful of times after that but I haven’t done it in about four years now. Just a few times when I thought I couldn’t cope in other ways. It’s made me stronger in the long run and I know that I don’t need it now. I promised myself that no matter how difficult it got to cope with my feelings that I would not revert to harming myself ever again. There are far too many good things in my life now. I don’t need to cut. Not anymore. I promised him I wouldn't. And whatever about breaking promises to myself, I certainly don’t break promises to other people.I’ve been thinking about whether I would change everything that. One day he called me and told me he would be coming to Mumbai and his place of work was close to my flat so could he stay over? I said and yes and prepared the additional guest room for him.He duly came in the morning and we left for work togehter. He promised to have dinner with me and so I decided to come from work early. I don;t know what prompted me to put on all my makeup and additional things as I prepared as if it was a date. I chose to wear a daring backless choli style blouse with a hint of cleavage and a see through black saree. As I opened the door for him I could see his appreciation at my efforts.He too got ready and came out. He suggested to mix drinks before we left so I had made a drink for him.While having it he let go of the bomb shell,” you know Manju you told me frankly about Nishant;s problems, and now looking at you I think if he could not satisfy you he was not really fit for you,” he said and winked.I smiled and said,” so what kind of man is fit for me.
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