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What happens when Chewbacca gets chocolate in his fur? A. You get chocolate chip Wookie of courseThis One Is Compliments of NavRetirement:After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart...Dear Mrs. Harris,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato. I felt bad, really bad. My head was an explosion; my mouth like I'd been licking a sumo's wrestler's dirty crotch strap. Crotch? I was half way through my coffee when I remembered Amber. My stomach sank even as other parts of me rose. I felt better, sharper already. As I did every time I thought of her. And today - today was the day when it was going to happen, whatever it was.A date.I had time and lots of it. I wasn't going to be late, even if I had a nice long shower and took care of the excitement at the thought of seeing Amber. I had a nice soapy wank. It was satisfying, providing relief so that I could get shaved and dressed in relative comfort. The shave was close, and I relished the sting of my aftershave – choosing something citrusy, befitting both the light of a gorgeous sunny morning and my mood: Davidoff’s Summer Fizz.Then I was out – I didn't want to be late.I didn't have time to think. Amber was early too; either that or she'd been peeking out of a window, waiting for me.
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