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"The leader of Manatee Bay's Thin Blue Line cleared his throat. "No incidents of inappropriate sexual activity involving stranger-on-youth reported. I won't comment on families, that involves Children's Aid and is considered not germane to this report, however statistically it's proportionate to what I'd expect from other communities around the country." He finished up with, "None of the incidents of public nudity, full or partial, have involved any violation of any law or regulation aside from our city's bylaw banning public nudity."I looked at everyone around me. "I suspect we're about to see the Public Decency Bylaw get eviscerated." Makes sense," whispered Chuck Malone. "I mean, why bother dressing only to go from home to school, if you're going to be running around nude when you get there?" Um, guys," I pointed out frantically, "this was NOT my idea. If anyone objects to the sight of naked little rug rats roaming our town, the man to blame is that walrus, right over there." So,". “You’re not what I imagined the Grim Reaper would look like, but I’m not complaining.”“Good morning, and by that comment, I would say you are not a morning person.”“Before coffee, I’m not any kind of person, come on in.”I waddle, no other ways to describe it, to the kitchen, start the coffee machine. I proceed without a word to the bathroom, relieve my bladder, retrieve Advil and take four. When I return to the kitchen, Maria is leaning against the counter waiting for me with that smile still in place.“I see you not doing well this morning. I would guess that most of your body is sore, but the good news is I am here to help.”’I’m thinking the only things that could help me would be some serious controlled substances but somehow I don’t think she has that in mind.“I’ll bite. What are you going to do to help?”“Question first, how big is your bathtub?”“It’s a whirlpool and big enough for two people, but if you want sex, you are going to have to do all the work. I really can’t.
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