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We all must look to caring for ourselves. That's a healthy attitude, and one that is necessary, if you hope to enjoy a good quality of life." I was now able to see that Mama's real concern wasn't what Grace had told her about me talking to her. She was worried that I was having doubts. I wondered if Joyce had spoken to Mama about my doubts. After what had happened at work that morning, and on the car ride home, my doubts had been eased."Mama, things are improving since I talked to Grace, and even since I spoke to Joyce about my having doubts. Except for Emily, I'm pretty sure everything is going to work out for me. What I'm doing isn't traditional, and I know that, but it is something I think will make it easier for me. It's sort of like not putting all my eggs into one basket. This is my attempt at gaining that stability you said I needed." I'm happy to hear that. The essence of stability is learning to accept having difficulties arise, while maintaining a posture that allows you to. I was stuck.Suddenly, a revelation! TOOLS! If I couldn't go somewhere to have theseremoved, I could do it myself. I didn't have much in the way of tools,but I know that I had a pair of bolt cutters. I went back upstairs tothe garage and found that all of my tools were gone too. In their placewas another note. "Sorry, Diane. Girls don't need tools. Besides, Bensaid he could use them."I had been beaten. There was nothing else I could do but face mysituation. I went back into the bedroom and contemplated my situation.Obviously, I couldn't go to work. But I felt so naked without somethingon. So I went through the dresses and skirts and blouses and tried tofind something as far from feminine as I could find, but to no avail.Everything was very girly, with flowers or hearts on it, bright pink incolor, or really short, or with flouncy sleeves. I settled on a pinkblouse with a black skirt. I wasn't about to put on pantyhose or shoes.I went into the living room to contemplate my situation. As.
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