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When her phone rang, she ran to answer it and was even more surprised when her sister was on the other end. ‘Sheila, what are you doing to yourself? It’s like I don’t know you anymore.’ ‘I’m confused.’ ‘Of course you are. Don’t think I’m not aware of what you’re doing. You don’t visit us anymore and you keep away from your family, Mrs. Downy is not a relative of yours. If it wasn’t for me getting into things I shouldn’t be, I’d have never known about you and Mickey moving in together. If you haven’t noticed, we always knew about Mickey and you wanting to have a baby so why would you keep something like that from me?’ ‘I just don’t want any problems with Chris’ family, his mother was awfully rude about Mickey and I being so close after his death. She thought I was waiting for something to happen to Chris to get with him.’ ‘Well, that’s stupid! Nobody could have foreseen his death.’ Sheila agreed. But then her dream was weird enough to give her chills when remembering it. And then. The thoughts of suicide that had flitted at the edges of his consciousness grew more insistent, more real. Instead of vague fantasies about what it would be like when he was gone, instead of idly pondering who, if anyone, would sign the guest book at his funeral, he began to plan, to contemplate when and how.Jonathan chose as the date the eve of his fortieth birthday, the symbolic end of his youth. Really, the choice was made because the date was close at hand, and he did not want to be as pathetic a forty-something as he was a thirty-something.His method was absolute, and sure. He did not want to wake up in a hospital with some stranger in a blue, disposable uniform telling him that science had brought him back from the edge of death. No, he squeezed himself into his bathtub and put the business end of a shotgun between his teeth and pulled the trigger. In an instant, he too was gone from life.The next, timeless moment, however, revealed some nasty truths. First, he discovered that.
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