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I have changed the names to protect the innocent and guilty alike.Shopping’s a chore I abhor, so only I accompany my wife Penny when my work shifts allow. Although we drive for a monthly stock-up at the out of town hypermarket across the county line, and a weekly trolley-ful shop at the local supermarket, Penny walks down to the local supermarket every afternoon after work for bread, milk and fresh produce.On one particular day, while carrying the hand basket for Penny, I noticed a well-dressed but matronly figured woman shopping almost exclusively for booze. Well that’s all her trolley contained, bottles of spirits, other than a bag of dog biscuits. I guess her age was mid-fifties to late-fifties, about thirty years older than us. Her hair was clearly coloured to disguise her grey hair and had that odd blue tinge to it that older woman seem to go for. What caught my eye though was an expensive brand of malt whisky in her trolley, emphasised by a large electronic security tag. " She was pushing me towards the other side of her room."Get where?" I asked.She pointed to the closet where a changing screen was pulled out. "There."She shook her head and gave me that 'duh' look. "Hurry up, and just takeoff everything that I've supplied the equivalent for." I tried to start toask her a question. "And don't ask, just do it before you go thinking likea little boy and ruin this for us both." Clearly she wasn't going to letme ask anything."Hey, these might not..." I started to protest about the clothing in thebag, but she cut me off."Half of that in there is lycra, it'll fit fine. The rest should we'lljust make do with. You're not that far off my size." She offered upwithout compassion for what she'd given me. "Oh Marty, be a doll and handover those icky boys rags you have on first."I took the clothes out of the bag. A small t-shirt that I doubted would betoo much trouble to fit into even with the sleeves practically non-existent, a skirt that was thankfully a bit.
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