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" I just hate it. Tim knows I hate that song too. Which is probably why hesung it to wake me up. I was angry at first, then scared out of my gourd. Evenbeing a sorceress, it takes a while to get magic flowing, so aman in my apartment standing over my bed in the middle of thenight was no laughing matter. Then I got a good look at his face, and my fear turned tooutright astonishment. After all, there was no way Tim could beanywhere, let alone standing in my bedroom. I'd seen to thatpersonally. He grinned. "Morning, Sunshine!" I looked at my alarm clock. It was 2:00 A.M. Irritationgot the upper hand again. "Whoever you are, go away. I need my beauty sleep." "Same old Susan. Sorry, but I'm not going away." Hecrossed his arms for emphasis. Whoever it was, he sure actedlike Tim. I sat up and swung a fist at him. It passed right throughthe man, as if he were...a ghost. "That's right, Susan. I'm a ghost!" "But how can that be, I mean, Tina is still alive, isn'tshe?" He nodded. "Yup. Just. )INTRO #2: I spread apart those well turned legs looking for that divine honey pot that I knew was sure to be there. My practiced eye traveled up one leg until I spotted it. Sure enough, "Miller's Honey Box" was stamped on the side and I knew I had found another antique treasure from the 1920's. The sturdy little piece of furniture had stood quietly in the back of the store... (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #3: It was a dark and stormy night... (On second thought, skip this one. It's a stupid opening and totally unbelievable anyway.)Which brings me to my last point. We have to stop using dumb openings to these things. Just get the disclaimer out of the way and get on with the action. Our customer satisfaction ratings have slipped from 97% to 95.3% in the latest J.D. Powers survey, and I think our "too clever" openings may have something to do with it.And use a simple disclaimer, like: *Under 18? Go away.* That'd do it. OK, let's get to work. Oh, and Dick, please report to my.
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