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Eventually, no matter how long we conspire to drag this out, I have to go back home. And then what? I can’t ask Kathryn to go with me unless she decides to leave Bill, and despite her frustration — which is only going to increase if he’s away as much as he says he’s going to be — I don’t see that happening. Things would have to get a lot worse between them, and if it came to a full-blown marital crisis I doubt he’d choose work over her. How could he? Nor is she the type to give up that easily, either.Anyway, what would I have to offer her? Years of skulking around friends and family who will see me as the bad guy, me as the other man, me as the one who broke up an otherwise happy marriage. How could that sort of life possibly appeal to her?On the other hand, why should I just give up so easily? If she can accept what we’ve done so far — and she quite clearly told me she can, both with words and with her body — maybe we don’t have to stop. I don’t love the secrecy, and I feel like a. This took place in NYC, in the late 90s. It began with a classified ad placed in a local paper, seeking talent for a pro-am porn video series called "Strokebook Video". I sent in my pic, and a SASE, then mostly forgot about the ad. A few months later, the producers contacted me. They gave me the date and location of the shoot for what would be the third release of the series. I eagerly awaited the date, not sure exactly what would be required of the talent. On the night of the shoot, we entered a large studio, which was mostly empty but for the production equipment and staff. There was also a raised stage area. There were about twenty other guys, all there as the 'amateur' talent. We were told to fill out and sign release forms. We all did so. The men were offered eye masks to wear, in case they wanted to hide their identies. Some of them wore the masks, but I declined.The director was a slim white guy wearing shades and a flowery shirt, who called himself Stuart. He.
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