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" We were going to be late and they woulddefinitely be angry at us for missing dinner. And then we would somehowhave to convince them that I was who I claimed to be.When we had arrived it had started getting colder and we couldn't seeeither of them in my backyard. The lights in Rick's house were out,while the ones in mine weren't. We parked our bikes in the shed andmoved towards my front door. Rick raised his hand to knock on the doorbut I hindered him. "Wait! We can't just walk in there, they'll go insane at you for beinglate and then dragging some unknown girl into your best friend'shouse!" I whispered to him. "So what should we do John?" he asked me."Why don't you knock on the door while I hide and then you'll tell themabout what has happened? If they decide to give this the benefit ofdoubt you can signal for me to step forward. Hopefully we can convincethem that I am me," I said. "And how would we do that?" "I guess thatdad might start asking me a bunch of questions that only I. I've had one friend tell me repeatedly that I'm better off for not transitioning early, as she did, because over that quarter century I was able to build a good career. I seriously doubt it. Yeah, I made good money, and had stuff, but I was never happy. How does the biblical line go about profiting the world at the cost of one's own soul? And besides, now, at the end of the 25 years, what to I have to show for them? Not stuff, that's for sure. I've basically got my personal effects and that's about it. I've got memories, some good some bad, and a load of experience in things that nobody wants. The only thing I have of value to show for the past 25 years are my friends.Truth be told, using 20-20 hindsight, I'd much rather have transitioned in 1975 and spend time struggling for a career. The time spent as the person I should have always been would have been immensely better than the time I wasted wishing and dreaming. I know that, given the upbringing I had, the way my ego had been.
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