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" Damn it, Dawn. Rape is never acceptable. No matter how drunk you are, nomatter how revealing your outfit is. Haven't you ever heard, 'No meansno?'" I know," I said through tears of anger and shame. "I know. But I honestto God don't know if I ever said no or not." It was a soberingexperience, in more ways than one. I had been more than spotty in takingmy birth control bills, so I made sure to have Brit pick up Plan B at thelocal Walgreens along with a new bottle of Tylenol.That was Time to Grow up Girl lesson number one. Lesson two came the verynext week, which I will always remember as the week of my mother's breastcancer scare.One of the byproducts of my change has been a much closer relationshipwith my mother. My dad died when I was seven, and mom basically raised meby herself. She didn't even date for six years after that, and didn't getmarried again until I was seventeen. Unfortunately the bastard cheated onher, stole what little money she had, and skipped out.God, men can be. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'Miraculously, a parking place appeared.Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'The man said, 'I do, Father.'The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?''Certainly, Father, ' the man replied.'Then stand over there against the wall, ' said the priest.Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'Paddy was in New York.He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing..
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