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‘Don’t worry about it Angel, It is no problem. You are just a plain Christmas fairy that’s all and neither have the emotional or physical attributes given to a human.’ She looked down at me so sorrowfully and stepped down from here perch to join me on my branch. ‘I would very much like to do something sexual’£ she whispered. ‘But you can’t, it would not be fair. It would be no fun for you.’ ‘I do have certain unusual feelings talking to you like this’ she said coyly. ‘You do? But how can you?’ ‘I don’t know. Perhaps I could change from a fairy without sex to one that does.’ ‘Then all the dirty old men would be touching you on the Christmas tree.’. ‘One already has, that big man who put me on the tree. The other day he was rubbing his noise into me underneath and I could not understand why.’ It sounded like my master .He will never live this down when I am restored to being a human again. On second thought perhaps I had better keep my lips zipped else he might change me into a gnome. ”His companion chuckled. “They wouldn’t want to hear that.”With a shake of his head, Dirk crushed his cigarette into the nearby ashtray. There was no need to elaborate who ‘they’ were, after all. Years of work in shadowy agencies had seen to that. “Well, that’s how it is. I figure the only thing keeping the aliens from conquering us is that we’d probably sleep with them if we had the chance, Kevs.”That earned a loud laugh from them both. “Gods, that theory again?” Kevin replied, the mirth never quite reaching his eyes. “Well, I hope you’re right. I’d have a better weekend than what I have now with Tanya.”“Hmph.” Dirk pursed his lips before reaching for another barely-chilled beer. “Only question is, who’d do the fucking? Them, or us?”When Jerry had gone downstairs, Lana had barely roused herself to wakefulness. The warm night had already taken its toll on her sleep - the lack of any air-conditioning only made things worse. It had been quite the effort to avoid noticing Jerry’s.
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