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Ali replies, "UNITED STATES OF IRAN."Trump says, "You know, Ali, I am really happy you called, because believe it or not, last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Tehran, and it was more beautiful than ever, and on each house flew an enormous banner." What did it say on the banners?" Ali asks.Trump replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."This one is compliments of ChrisThe swearing nun.A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.''It was, ' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.''I seem to recall that, ' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?''Far from it, ' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's. And it was true. I couldn’t, I was still a virgin, something I was ashamed and something I often tried lying about. “Daniel, I’m back” I rushed up the stairs as quickly as I could so he didn’t see my mascara. Honestly, I NEED waterproof mascara. “Chelsea, are you ok?” “Yeah, just doing homework. Don’t bother me” I was trying desperately to ignore him. I’ve felt too awkward to talk to him properly. I kept this up for a few days. “Chelsea, can I talk to you?” “Sorry, busy, maybe another time? “Chelsea, it’s important” “Sorry”. And I shut the door on him. I heard a faint sigh from the other side of the door. The next day, same school routine, homework and other shitty things. The door opened. “Daniel! Don’t you knock anymore?” “Shut up Chels, you know we need to talk. I know that you saw me… you know… masturbate.” “I…I…I didn’t mean to” “Guess it’s time to come clean” “Oh god… epic fail…” “Well… a while ago I developed feelings for you, like, sexually…” I couldn’t believe this! My own.
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