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He finds it’s going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, “The weather out there is terrible.”To which she sleepily replies, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?”This one is compliments of Mario.The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church in Ireland. One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer.The Reverend wasn’t happy. He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.‘Mrs Fitzgerald, ‘ he said sternly. ‘This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don’t you let me take you home?’‘Sure, ‘ she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The Reverend realized that she’d had far too much to drink. But believe me I seen it with my own eyes and nobody else's.Well, after I saw what was going on right there under my nose, I said, "Homer, just what in the hell do you think you are doing with my sweet and innocent wife?" I wanted to give him a chance to explain, in case there was a good and reasonable reason for this behavior of his. I couldn't think of a good reason for them to be doing this shit, but I do try to be fair.That is because I am a fair-minded man and wanted him to have a chance to explain before I let my right hand grab him by the nuts, after which I would then try my damndest to lift him off the floor by them. But like I said, I did want to give him a chance to weasel out of it if he could. A friendship like ours is not something what you would ever wish to destroy by being too sudden in your actions. It ain't good to jump to conclusions too fast. If you jump to conclusions, you should do so with all due deliberation. Then you kill the son of a bitch.Hell, I can tell.
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