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” “It is not going to happen,” she stated. “You’ve kidded me about watching Donna, hon,” I told her. “But, I’ve seen you checking Dave out, too. And, when he sees something that lights his fire, he always looks at you. I’m telling you, we’re going to do the swap thing sometime in the future.” “You want to screw Donna?” “I’d be up for a go, the same way you’d like to strap on Dave.” “I wouldn’t do that to you,” she said. “No worries, babe,” I told her, “as long as we’re open about it and not sneaking around. I’d rather you do it in front of me than try to hide it. I know you think he’s a hunk, and that’s okay. I’m guessing he already wants you and is just holding back because of Donna.” “So if she says it’s okay…?” “I think we’ll have to talk to them about it.” So we talked to them. “Oh, hell, yes!” Donna said. “No, seriously,” Kayla said. “You have to tell us what you really think.” “What we think,” Dave said, “is that it’s taken a lot longer than we thought it would for you two to. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.St. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers ‘weeds’ and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.GOD: Grass? But, it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It doesn’t attract butterflies, birds, and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It’s sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord As soon as it grows a little, they cut it - sometimes twice a week.GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake.
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