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God gently wakes him and asks, “How are you doing? Are you happy here?”The cat yawns and stretches and says, “Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are the best!”The secret to a long life... A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life. He said. “You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you’ll live to nice ripe old age.”So, the young cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to be the nice ripe old age of 96.When he died, he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren ... and a 16-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.Bad Mom?“Can you pleasehold my hand?” A mother asks her son: “Anton, do you think I’m a bad mom?”Son: “My name is Paul.”✧ ✧ ✧After the floodAfter 150 days off flooding, Noah released all the animals from his ark and commanded then to go forth and multiply.After some time, he saw that the flocks and herds were regaining their numbers, but. And that folks is how I lost my virginity.Guess I should have felt fortunate as I was quite nerdy, pretty small of stature at the time and lacked any confidence whatsoever. It took until my senior year of high school before my body grew enough to participate in sports, even though I was very coordinated. I had finally made the football (American) team, and even though still on the small side at barely 5’8” and 140 lbs, I had managed to make All-Conference. Unfortunately I was still pretty timid, but fortunately this was seen as a virtue by one of the cheerleaders.That is when I met Lynn, who eventually became my first wife.Lynn was a year behind me, but where I was pretty much intimidated by others, Lynn was just the opposite. She was somewhat reserved, but did not take anything from anyone, and not afraid to speak her mind.Our relationship grew and I believe her character rubbed off on me as I became more confident over time.Even though we petted heavily, even getting to third base.
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