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I love you too, Silke. I’d never have the courage to say this looking at your eyes if you hadn’t meant it like that, but I love you. I just hope that it can exist outside of this place — that it isn’t dependent on us being here.’ ‘You’d never have the courage? What does that mean?’ she asked. ‘After my marriage fell apart, I’ve never wanted to hear those words again, because I doubted that anyone ever really means it when they say it,’ he said, ‘Until today, I didn’t think that I’d ever allow myself to feel this way ever again, but I just knew that I was lost with you as soon as you touched me. I just didn’t think that you could feel the same thing as I felt. I thought that it was just me wanting what I could never have, since I’ve never had it in the first place.’ She stared for a moment, ‘So you are saying that we can love each other and just be honest about it? Please, Tatsuya, I’m not a young girl at this. Grown women learn never to say what they really want at times like this.. Sometimes watching movies on my laptop on the same time. Always hoping in school that somebody would see me and pick me out, pull me in a toilet and fuck my mouth.When I was 17 orso I was so frustrated and didn’t want to wait anymore and I went on a dutch sexdating website. Even though I was still a virgin. I didn’t dare to write that down. I was very ashamed of being 17 and a virgin. The place was called AdultMatch and I just wrote down that I hoped to find a man who would want to make me give him oral sex.And now I realize this is stupid. But I didn’t expect anything. I was never popular and I think with half an hour I had 2 messages and within 1 day 20 messages. My heart would knock in my throat. Wow. Are they serious I was thinking. I put an extra picture on there and messages kept coming in. And then I thought do I dare to meet? For a week I did nothing. Just reading the messages.And 1 message stood out for me. Was a guy who sent a very personal message and was very clear on.
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