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To make matters worse, I was in management, and she was one of the people under my direct supervision, a serious violation of the company policy. Basically, I was offered the option of quitting and the company wouldn’t say anything about my violation of the rules, or be terminated and every prospective employer told of my transgressions. I took the first option. I spent the next six years trying to pick up the pieces and move on, but being lied to completely by someone I cared about, finding out about that from her jealous husband with a baseball bat one evening in the parking lot threatening to rearrange my face or anywhere else he would decide to smack me, did a lot of emotional damage to me. In the last six years, I had tried to get back on the horse that threw me a few times, but I couldn’t trust anyone. Every relationship would fall apart, one woman telling me that I was on an emotional island no one could get to, which was the truth. I was hell-bent on hurting someone like I. No one called me Akiko or treatedme with any respect, not even Karl’s friends. They allcalled me bitch, sometimes “Akiko bitch”, sometimes “TheBitch.” I did not mind.Having sex with a dog was an unnatural act, one of themost forbidden acts possible. Karl made sure I knewhow few women would do such a thing, yet the fact thatit was so forbidden, so unnatural was probably what madeit seem so exciting and intense for me.I think Karl was playing God. He enjoyed the power ofmanipulating genes and directing the breed, he wasdirecting a great experiment with nature, combining twospecies. I know he kept all sorts of notes and recordsand photographs of my “relationship” with Enzo. He waspushing me into this unnatural relationship under theguise of anthropology. Of course, I believed Karl. Iwas blind, I loved that man so much. I would do anythingfor him, even give up my humanity. I worried sometimesabout going to Hell.He kept meticulous records of.
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