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This woman was all of 5 foot 2 inches and 400 pounds if she were an ounce. She had curves, like an apple has curves. She smiled at me in a friendly way, stowed her bag and sat — really overflowed is a better word – the aisle seat. There was no way to avoid contact. I was amazed the airline had not required her to purchase a second ticket. ‘Please long sleeve shirt… save me!’ I thought. I made very sure that my hands stayed as far away as possible from Ms. Obesity 2012 but had not counted on the one other bit of exposed flesh. You see, Ms. Obesity could not get the seat belt around her waist, so she reached up to call the flight attendant. The flab of her arms rolled like a tsunami with her movement and her bare arm brushed against the top of my head. There needs to be a law prohibiting the sale of sleeveless blouses to anyone over a certain body fat percentage. ‘Excuse me…. Oh…. Oh my…’ I saw her eyes go out of focus. I swore then that, if I got out of this, I would buy a burka and. .. EXACTLY, um, WHO would a broke, horny waitress have to KILL to get invited on a cruise like that?”I had already ‘opened up’ communications to the group, so they could hear what was being said. Mary and Jamie, who were quite friendly with Tammy, flashed, “INVITE her Charlie! Please?”I chuckled, “Um, no one. All you’d need is a recent VD test and a passport. Would you like to come with us? We leave on Sunday night or very early Monday morning.”“Hold on! I’ll be right back.” She giggled, as she sprinted to talk to Jim, the owner and her boss.When she came back, Jimmy, ‘the Greek’ was in tow. He asked, “You’re no putting Tammy on? You really inviting her on a cruise? How much is cost for these cruise, eh?”I grinned, “There is no cost to Tammy. We were given a cruise by a very special friend for our wedding. We have an open spot, that will go to waste if she doesn’t come with us.” (I DIDN’T want Jimmy to want to go.)“How long? 3 days?” Jimmy asked hopefully.“No, it’s for 7 days and.
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