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Greg sucked air and became instantly quiet. He was convinced that he was seconds away from castration, followed by cannibalism. Even though the pain was making his eyes cross, he remained perfectly still and attentive. It was time for my pitch."I'm going to give you one chance to keep your balls, Greg." I didn't bother trying to sound menacing. It would have been overkill. I let him absorb the concept that there was a way out of this for a few seconds, then I went on. "Your sister and your niece need you. They need you to pretend to be a man until they can get back on their feet. A man shoulders his responsibilities without trying to extort sex from the people he is supposed to protect. You need to decide if you are a man or not. Because if you are not..." I squeezed his balls for emphasis "... if you are not, then you won't be needing these!"My pitch was interrupted by a stream of urine jetting from Greg's penis. It showered his chest and splashed his face and he seemed unable to. )Setting a booby-trap in retreat is a sure bet that you'll have to try to disarm it during the counter-attack so your own men don't set it off.The fastest way to be put on KP is to complain about the food.Army food is always a source of humor...since nobody can cry and vomit forever.The idea of an Army is to train tough men to kill. The Department of War won every war it fought. Today, the idea is to train ladies and gentlemen to do it. Is it any wonder the Department of Defense has never won a war? (Duh?)If the enemy is in range, so are you!Friendly fire isn't.Military intelligence is a contradicory termWhenever your in a foxhole it always happens to be with someone braver than yourself.The artillery always falls short of the target and the air support always overshoots the target.Please keep in mind, your weapon was manufactured by the lowest bidder.When does the enemy attack? whenever your not ready.Who is always the first person to get shot? the medic.The delay of your close air.
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